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Hatventures: Origins Episode I

By Hat Films

Ross Hornby


OPENING: A NIGHTMARE

Flashes of violent colour whip across the screen married with the haunting voices of our adventurers screams as they fall down a pit into the unknown. Sudden flashes of the 3 adventurers falling to their doom scatter across our eyes as the blur of a dream appears more evident. The muffled sound of our heroes screams become more distant and echoed as our protagonist comes into consciousness.

YOUNG ROSS
(Huffs and puffs as he wakens)
I’m late!
Ross has a clean shaven appearance and slept in his underwear. He rushes over to his chest to get changed into his army uniform, ready to impress the sergeant when he enlists for the seventh time.

A fanfare of bubbly orchestral music accompanies Ross as he rushes out into the bustling, busy village streets. The locale knows Ross well and he's quite the nuisance around town. Ross rushes pass a couple of locals walking by.

LOCAL VILLAGER #1
Watch it!
LOCAL VILLAGER #2
How rude!
LOCAL VILLAGER #1
Bloody kids these days
Ross continues to run by, intent on getting to the enlistment point. He turns back to apologise.

YOUNG ROSS
Sorry!
The villagers just look annoyed, muttering under their breath. The village is filled with people on their way to work and merchants can be heard touting their goods as Ross continues through.

MERCHANT (GREGG)
Getcha mushrooms, 3 fer a pound.
Loaves half price, get 'em while ya
can!
Ross runs near the merchant and Gregg tosses a brick towards Ross.

MERCHANT (GREGG)
Good luck fella, you'll knock 'em
dead this time
YOUNG ROSS
(confused)
Oh er. Thanks Gregg, I owe you
one!?
MERCHANT (GREGG)
Wouldn't be the first time, off you
go lad.
Ross continues on his path to the great hall of Tyrannus to enlist in the army. The Great Hall of Tyrannus towers above Ross' village and accents the mountainous ridge that surrounds the district. Ross can see his target as he runs through the winding village roads.

The entrance of the hall is grand and intimidating. Ross slows down as he takes the time to consider what he's about to do.

We can hear two guys standing in line ahead of him talking about he rumours of the little shits

SOLDIER #1
I'm telling you, they're malevolent
little creatures. They don't stop.
SOLDIER #2
You should've shown 'em some steel
SOLDIER #1
It's not that they're dangerous but
they're just hurtful, you know
Ross slows down as he nears the grand entrance looking around and admiring it.

YOUNG ALAN
Ross!
Ross turns around to see his old friend Alan.

ROSS
Alan?
YOUNG ALAN
You look surprised. You must've
known I signed up last fall.
YOUNG ROSS
It's been so long I had no idea,
you're wearing different clothes
YOUNG ALAN
(pauses)
Erm. Yes...well it's been quite the
ride. We're just stopping through
before heading up north.
YOUNG ROSS
Up north? but...
YOUNG ALAN
(interrupts)
...I don't have all the information
yet, but it seems like they're
rising again.
YOUNG ROSS
That's crazy I don't...
YOUNG ALAN
I shouldn't have said anything,
listen I've got to go.
Good luck, maybe I'll see you up
there.
YOUNG ROSS
No, I don't know what you're
referencing.
YOUNG ALAN
Nevermind, I didn't say anything.
Got it?
YOUNG ROSS
You may as well have said nothing,
I don't remember you being so
confusing.
YOUNG ALAN
I've really got to go.
Alan rushes away into a crowd of uniformed soldiers. Ross seems a little taken a back as he shakes it off and enters the Great Hall of Tyrannus.

YOUNG ROSS
(muttering to himself)
What he hell is up north? I'm
remembering why I didn't keep in
touch with that guy.
Ross walks along the marble pathway towards a lonely looking desk centered upon a raised stage at the end of the hall. Two sergeants stand to attention at the desk while a rabble of fellow registering soldiers chat to one another.

SERGEANT #1
You there!
YOUNG ROSS
Yes, sir
SERGEANT #1
You enlisting?
YOUNG ROSS
Well hopefully I'll make it...
SERGEANT #1
(interrupting)
Shut your hole boy. I ain't
interested in your life story, so
you shut your mouth when you're
talkin' to me!
YOUNG ROSS
That's not entirely...
SERGEANT #2
Not one fer listenin' eh? Getcha
papers.
Ross shuffles closer to the desk to hand over his papers.

SERGEANT #1
Name?
YOUNG ROSS
Ross, sir
SERGEANT #1
How old are you?
YOUNG ROSS
Eight...erm eighteen, sir
SERGEANT #1
You look like a 12 year old
vietnamese hooker
YOUNG ROSS
Ooh that's not P.C
SERGEANT #1
Nevermind, you'll do
SERGEANT #2
We're not oo choosy these days,
we'll get you up front. Can never
have enough fodder
The sergeant lets out a hearty laugh.

SERGEANT #1
A-HA HA HA! He's right. They'll be
gunning you down in a heart beat
boy, welcome to the regiment.
YOUNG ROSS
Gunning?...with guns? I'm not so
sure...
SERGEANT #1
What I say about shutting your
mouth huh? Follow me.
The sergeant walks towards a staircase leading up to the back of the hall. It's grand and leads up to an opening in the mountain. Several soldiers are walking through.

SERGEANT #1 I'll give you some words of wisdom
now, so listen up!
YOUNG ROSS
I'm all ears.
SERGEANT #1
You sure are. goofy bastard.
Anyways on the battlefield the
first thing you need to remember is
that...
SERGEANT #2
(shouting from a distance)
You can't walk off. There's a
bloody queue piling up!
Incompetent bitch!
SERGEANT #1
Erm...This is important. It's the
most forgotten technique known to a
soldier and by god, is it underused.
SERGEANT #2
(still shouting)
Hey, asshole. I'm not gettin' any
younger
SERGEANT #1
Coming! ... A wise man once told me
that no matter what you do on the
battlefiel...
SERGEANT #2
Godfrey! I WILL demote you if you
don't get your ass here right now.
SERGEANT #1
Oh...er yes sir, my mistake. You're
on your own kid. Oh and grow a
beard for christs sake.
The Sergeant #1 heads back to his post at the desk. Ross looks back in awe and confusion, shakes his head and continues up the stairs. Ross turns to a passer by.

YOUNG ROSS
Is he normally like this?
RANDOM GUY
Fuck off wannabe!
YOUNG ROSS
(to himself)
Delightful
Ross continues walking up the grand staircase that leads into the mountains ready for the training ahead.

EXT. TRAINING GROUNDS DAY

Ross is running in a rough terrain joined by several other soldiers in green, army gear. Ross jumps into a small body of water and wades through.

YOUNG ROSS
(exhausted)
Oh god, this is a lot more than I
expected. I didn't bring trunks.
YOUNG ALAN
Come on, suck it up. Not much
further.
YOUNG ROSS
You sre like to crack the whip,
don'tcha?
Another soldier is about to pass Ross as Alan wades alongside Ross.

SOLDIER #3
Make way. You guys suck!
YOUNG ROSS
Aw c'mon, that was kind of uncalled
for.
YOUNG ALAN
We're behind everyone. Listen you
won't magically grow a beard for
nothin' let's go.
Ross powers through and progresses to a transition laying in a trench being fired at in a WW2 siulation.

SERGEANT #1
This is it, you blocky S.O.B's!
We're in a warzone.
Gettin' fired at from all angles.
You can't run.
You can't hide.
And we're using live rounds people.
Live mother fuckin' rounds.
YOUNG ROSS
(to Alan)
What? Live?
SERGEANT #1
You will not die if you listen to
me. Now keep your heads down and
for gods sake do not get killed.
(under his breath) This training
still ain't legal.
YOUNG ROSS
(turns to Alan)
Live rounds? He's kidding right? I
didn't know there was a mod for
this.
YOUNG ALAN
Don't worry, not been a death for a
while. Although Tim took a knock to
the nip if you know what I mean.
YOUNG ROSS
A knock to the nip? How do you
merely take a knock to a nipple?
I'm in way over my head here.
SERGEANT #1
Now, get your weapons out and lets
kill some simulated enemies.
Yee-haw!
The troops take their guns out and head over the trench to face the oncoming gunfire.

YOUNG ROSS
Shits about to get real blocky.
Alan leans over the trench laying on the ground. The Sergeant starts firing bullets into the air and celebrating.

SERGEANT #1
Yee-haw, hoo-lawdy!
YOUNG ALAN
Hey! This is where we get to shoot
shit. (pauses) Simulated Shit!
YOUNG ROSS
It's what I've always wanted.
Ross follows Alan over the wall and starts running towards the enemy.

YOUNG ROSS
Oh crap, This is great, this is the
rush I was looking for. Alan!
Wait!
(huffs and puffs out of breath)
Wait, buddy.
No, no I'm getting a stitch.
Go on without me, I'm gonna just...
lay here.
YOUNG ALAN
This is hopeless
(spraying bullets randomly)
You can do this I know it!
YOUNG ROSS
I'm not cut out for this. These
guns, they're not fast enough, and
my legs. They're not fast enough.
YOUNG ALAN
Stop the excuses, I didn't come
along to watch you fail miserably.
YOUNG ROSS
Oh Alan, you're too hopeful. THat
glint in your eye, it's too strong.
It's blinding me.
YOUNG ALAN
What?
YOUNG ROSS
Close your eyes man. It's too
bright.
The Sergeant runs over to Ross and Alan.

SERGEANT #1
What are you limp-dicked fuckers
doing here?
YOUNG ROSS
That language is just
inappropriate. Alan's blinding me,
are there rules against this type
of thing?
SERGEANT #1
You better get up boy, or I'll
shoot you clean in the kneecaps and
you'll be down there for the rest
of your life.
YOUNG ROSS
You're a real motivator, Sir.
Did you learn your training at the
full metal jacket school for
assholes?
The Sergeant pistol-whips (or just punches) Ross in the face.

YOUNG ROSS
(strong pained grunting sound)
Damn that smarts,
Right I'm motivated, don't know
about you Alan. Let's do this.
SERGEANT #1
That's more like it, you lily
livered asshat.
Ross gets up and follows Aan as they continue into the battlefield. There is gunfire everywhere and they need to yell over the noise.

YOUNG ALAN
Make sure the safety is off, you'l
need to reload after each shot.
YOUNG ROSS
What no automatics? This is going
to get tedious.
Ross reloads his gun and fires at a simulated clone zombie in the face. Blood sprays out gorily.

YOUNG ROSS
Ok. Yep, I can do this.
YOUNG ALAN
Not so tedious eh?
Alan and Ross run a rampage around the open land shooting simulated zombies as they go (much like the birds eye view scene in 30 days of night). The montage cuts between close up shots of gunfire and blood shed.

EXT. TRAINING CAMPSITE DUSK

Army tents set the scene as the guys are back at their camp. They are sat against a large tree overlooking the training ground. They simulated Zombie bodies disappear through a digital haze.

YOUNG ALAN
So, you did well out there.
YOUNG ROSS
Better than some at least.
A shot of "digitalised zombies" are feeding on another soldier who's screaming and squirmingon the ground.

YOUNG ALAN
Ha ha, well, the real thing's much
worse my friend.
YOUNG ROSS
You don't have to tell me.
(pauses thoughtfully)
I've seen what they can do.
Ross pauses looking into the sunset.

YOUNG ROSS
What? No flashback? aww c'mooonnn
Mid way through his last word it cuts to the credits/black/endplate.

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